Spring 2007

This Month: Preparing for Divorce

If divorce appears to be on the horizon of your marriage, there are certain things you can do to prepare before you have that talk with your spouse. I am not suggesting that you do anything illegal or under-handed, but merely that you take care of yourself.

1. Make copies of all financial documents that you can find including wills, tax returns, pay stubs, deeds, leases, retirement account statements, credit card statements, contracts, loan applications, receipts for big ticket items, and your spouse's checking account statements. Keep the copies in a safe place, perhaps with a trustworthy friend or relative.

2. Save money to pay attorneys fees. Very few attorneys will accept employment without a substantial retainer being paid in advance. Further, your attorney's work on the divorce will be charged hourly between $150 and $300 per hour and will not be done on a flat fee basis. That means you will need to keep the money coming. It is rare for a spouse to be ordered to pay his or her spouse's attorneys fees. Do not expect that to happen.

3. Deposit your paycheck into a separate checking account in your name only. Do not continue to put your paycheck into the joint account. Because of the community property laws in Texas, merely putting it in a separate account does not make it your money, but it does help to have funds available for your reasonable living expenses and lawyer's fees.

4. Research attorneys and get recommendations from friends and relatives who have liked their divorce attorney. Hire someone who practices family law only. You don't want to be waiting for your attorney to finish her case at criminal court before she returns to appear with you at the Family Law Center. Look at lawyer websites on the Internet. Do not shop by price alone. A new lawyer may come cheap, but you may later regret their lack of experience.

5. Do a credit check on yourself to see what debt is out there in your name and your spouse's name. You might find that the spouse has opened a Cabelas account or a Neiman's card. Try to convince the spouse that it makes sense to pay off some debt. That way there will be less debt to split when the divorce is finalized.

6. Keep your house in good repair. You may decide to put it up for sale in the divorce or after the divorce.

7. Last, but not least, keep in mind the huge negative impact a divorce will have on your children. Then try marriage counseling. If that fails, then read some books about how to help your children survive the divorce with the least possible scarring. Be prepared to focus on the children and on keeping them out of the fray.