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Talking about a prenup without ruining your relationship

One of the main reasons couples don't discuss prenuptial agreements is simply that both people feel nervous to bring it up. They worry that the other person will be angry and might even leave them if they suggest it. However, there are things you can do to gently broach the subject if you think a prenup is important.

First of all, try to bring it up without making it sound like you think you're better or worth more than your partner -- even if the reason you want the prenup is that you earn more. Talk about how it can help and protect both of you in the event of a divorce.

It can also help to talk about debt, not just what you earn. The prenup divides that debt fairly. For example, maybe you both have a lot of student loans or are planning to go back to school after getting married. Mention to your partner how the prenup can help make sure you both only have to pay for what you really borrowed.

Finally, talk about the power a prenup gives you. In divorce court, a lot of that power may shift to the judge if you both can't agree. Point out to your spouse that agreeing on how you'll split things up in advance means you both get to do things the way you want. No judge is going to control your assets. This way, the conversation is less about you trying to control your spouse and is instead about how both of you, together, can keep the control you have.

It's also critical to know how and when to file your prenup. It must be done properly and drafted well before your marriage. Know what steps to take so that it will be valid in court.

Source: Business Insider, "10 Ways To Bring Up A Prenup Without Getting Dumped," Mandi Woodruff, accessed Jan. 13, 2017

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