We grow up in the United States watching rom-coms and reading fantasy tales about true love and “happily ever after.” Then, when we find Mr. or Mrs. Right, we feel like it’s our turn to experience this kind of fairy-tale romance. Unfortunately, the reality is usually a lot different from our fantasies.
Many marriages end because of fairy-tale expectations of what love and relationships are supposed to be like. In fact, unrealistic expectations might be the primary reason why many people get divorced.
Rom-coms and romance novels usually focus on the romantic beginnings of relationships rather than the long-haul of committed unions. That’s because the beginning is typically the most exciting, which makes for good movies. It’s only during years of marriage that we really get to know what it means to fall in love with someone and truly get to know him or her.
In some cases, getting to know the real person could lead to disillusionment when we find out the person we married is not the person we thought he or she was. In other cases, though, we find that we married the person of our dreams — even if we didn’t know exactly who that person was before we tied the knot.
If you’re getting divorced because you or your spouse had unrealistic expectations, it’s understandable. Most of us look at the best aspects of our partners when we first fall in love. It’s only with time that we discover who someone really is. If that person doesn’t meet your expectations, you certainly have the right to get a divorce and try to find someone with whom you’re more compatible.