When you’re divorcing, deciding who should have custody of your children and when can be hard. As divorcing parents, you may already have conflicts that you’re dealing with, and adding your children to that mix makes things so much harder.
What’s important to remember is that your children are stuck in the middle of this situation, too. If you and your spouse continue to argue or fight, you won’t resolve the situation and will only make things more difficult for your kids. That’s one reason why you should consider mediation if you continue having disputes.
Mediation isn’t trying to “fix” you, your spouse or your marriage
Contrary to what some people believe, mediation isn’t a way of fixing your marriage or making you and your spouse like one another again. Instead, it takes a look at a specific conflict and helps you resolve it. Unlike marriage counseling, which works to help people resolve marital problems and stay together, a mediation session is only about resolving conflicts as they pertain to your divorce.
Here’s an example: If you and your spouse both want to have your children four days a week (which is impossible), the mediator may help you work through several different custody options looking at calendars and comparing schedules. Working out a schedule that is as close to 50-50 as possible could be a solution, or you may find a way to exchange custody every four days instead of on specific days of the week.
Mediation is about coming up with resolutions to problems and guiding you toward healthy agreements. This kind of dispute resolution can teach you methods of handling conflict that will last long into the future.